Social Development in Autistic Children
How can we support communication, friendships with peers and participation in group activities? Why can social situations be challenging, and how can we create an environment where children build relationships on their own terms?
Autism and a Child's Social Development
Social development is about much more than holding a conversation, greeting someone or playing with other children. It involves building relationships, communicating needs, understanding social situations, cooperating and feeling a sense of belonging.
Autistic children can form relationships and participate in social life in many different ways. Some actively seek out peers, while others prefer smaller groups, quieter encounters or shared activities without lengthy conversations.
Autism involves differences in social communication and reciprocal interaction. That does not mean every autistic child is uninterested in friendship or that relationships do not matter to them. Social needs, ways of showing interest and preferred numbers of friends vary from child to child.
Challenges can arise when others expect instant responses, an understanding of unspoken rules or participation in intense, unpredictable situations. In such cases, supporting the child's skills is only part of the solution: the environment and the behaviour of others also need to adapt.
What Are the Key Areas of a Child's Social Development?
Everyday interactions draw on several abilities working together. For some autistic children, certain skills may need additional support, while others may be real strengths.
Expressing Needs
Communicating what a child wants or enjoys, what they do not understand, or when they need help. This can happen through speech, gestures, pictures or other forms of communication.
Joint Attention
Sharing an interest in an object, event or activity with another person. This does not necessarily require eye contact.
Two-Way Conversation
Exchanging information, responding to what someone says and making room for different interests and ways of expressing thoughts.
Cooperation
Working towards a shared goal, dividing responsibilities, asking for support and finding solutions that respect everyone's needs.
Understanding Social Cues
Noticing information communicated through words, tone of voice, facial expressions and context. No single cue can reliably tell us how another person feels.
Building Relationships
Meeting people with similar interests, developing trust, learning about boundaries and forming friendships at a comfortable pace.
The development of these skills is not linear. A child might speak confidently about a favourite interest but need support to start a conversation with someone new. Another child may not use spoken language yet still communicate an interest in playing together effectively.
Why Can Conversations and Peer Interactions Be Challenging?
A conversation is a dynamic situation. We need to understand words, notice another person's reactions, process information and decide when and how to respond. Background noise, different speaking speeds and rules that are not always obvious add to the complexity.
One child might talk at length about a favourite subject because they want to share something important. Another might not initiate conversations because they are unsure how to join in or need more time to formulate a response.
What Can Make Interactions Difficult?
- Unspoken conversational rules, jokes, hints or phrases with several possible meanings.
- Pressure to respond quickly, or being interrupted before finishing a thought.
- Noise, overlapping conversations and too many people at once.
- A lack of shared interests or not enough time to get to know someone.
- Expectations about particular patterns of eye contact or facial expressions as proof of interest.
- Other people's unfamiliarity with alternative forms of communication.
Many of these barriers can be reduced by organising conversations differently and helping everyone understand each other better.
Does Not Talking Mean a Child Is Not Interested?
No. Interest in another person can also be expressed through doing things together, showing objects, sharing knowledge, using augmentative communication or simply choosing to be near someone. What matters is recognising a person's preferred way of connecting, rather than imposing a single model of behaviour.
What Is Joint Attention and Why Does It Matter?
Joint attention means sharing an interest in a particular object or event with someone else. For example, a child notices something interesting and points it out to a caregiver; together they pay attention to the same thing.
For some autistic children, directing and sharing attention develops differently. That does not mean they do not want to share experiences. Joint attention may also be expressed through gestures, sounds, body movement or doing an activity together.
Everyday Examples of Joint Attention
- A child shows another participant an interesting toy or part of an obstacle course.
- Two people follow the same ball and anticipate where it will move.
- A participant gestures towards a place they want to go with a friend.
- A child shares the joy of completing a task through words, movement or facial expression.
Joint attention is connected with communication development and learning through relationships. Support can involve following a child's interests, showing them interesting things and creating opportunities to explore together, rather than insisting on direct eye contact.
Reading Emotions and Social Cues: Is It Always Straightforward?
In everyday life, people use facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice and context to interpret what others say. These cues are not always clear: a smile may express happiness, politeness or nervousness, and a calm voice does not necessarily mean a person is not feeling strong emotions.
Some autistic children may find unspoken expectations or meanings difficult to interpret. At the same time, non-autistic people may find it difficult to understand an autistic child's communication.
What Is the Double Empathy Problem?
Researcher Damian Milton introduced the concept of the double empathy problem. It highlights that misunderstandings can arise between people who experience and communicate about the world differently, rather than being caused by just one side of the interaction.
A difficulty interpreting facial expressions should therefore not be taken as a lack of care or empathy. Asking direct questions, explaining intentions and being willing to adapt on both sides can improve understanding.
How Can We Create Conditions That Support Peer Relationships?
Not every child feels comfortable in a large group, energetic games or spontaneous conversations. Some find short paired activities, clearly structured tasks or a shared project based on interests much easier.
Before expecting active participation, it is important to establish a sense of safety, opportunities for breaks and a predictable class structure.
Smaller Groups
Reducing sensory input and the number of simultaneous interactions can make it easier to focus and participate.
Clear Rules
Participants know what an activity involves, how long it will last and what they can do if they need help.
Shared Interests
Favourite topics and activities offer a natural starting point for connecting with others.
Choice in Participation
Not every child needs to speak in front of the whole group. They may begin by observing or working with one partner.
Understanding Peers
It is worth teaching every child that people may speak, express emotions and respond at different speeds and in different ways.
The Right to Take a Break
Rest and the option to step away from an overwhelming situation help protect a child's sense of safety.
A shared activity should not mean constant conversation. For some children, relationships begin through shared experiences and interests, with conversation developing later.
What Does Research Say About Supporting Social Skills?
Research into social communication and relationships covers a wide range of approaches: play involving parents, paired activities, peer-mediated support and group programmes. Findings differ and should not automatically be applied to every type of class or activity.
Supporting Peer Relationships
Ragaglia, Trovato and Bulgarelli reviewed 24 studies of peer-mediated approaches designed to support autistic children's social participation in primary schools.
Many studies reported positive changes, but only a small number investigated whether these gains lasted after the programme ended. Follow-up findings were mixed. The authors emphasised the importance of the relationship between the child and their environment.
Ragaglia B., Trovato I., Bulgarelli D. (2026), Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. Read the research paper.
How Effective Are Group Social Skills Programmes?
Afsharnejad and colleagues included 65 studies, with 49 included in the meta-analysis. Individual measures suggested modest benefits, but after accounting for publication bias, there was no clear overall effect of the programmes examined.
This is an important reminder: simply attending a group does not guarantee improved social skills. We need to consider the child's real experiences, the quality of interactions and whether skills can be used outside the sessions.
Afsharnejad B. et al. (2026), Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. Read the research paper.
Joint Attention, Play and Reciprocal Communication
UK NICE guidelines recommend considering appropriately tailored, play-based support for social communication involving parents, caregivers and teachers. They also highlight the importance of helping adults recognise and respond to each child's individual communication style.
These recommendations concern specialist support; they do not establish the effectiveness of any particular sports programme.
NICE, Autism spectrum disorder in under 19s: support and management, CG170, recommendation 1.3.1. Read the guidelines.
How Can You Support Your Child's Social Development Every Day?
Start with small, natural opportunities to connect. The aim is not to force conversations but to offer choices, a safe environment and the freedom to develop relationships at the child's own pace.
Follow Their Interests
Shared interests can make it easier to meet people and initiate contact.
Practise in a Safe Setting
Simple role-play and games can help prepare for new situations without pressure to succeed immediately.
Explain Unspoken Rules
Be explicit about what is happening and what options the child has.
Respect Their Communication Style
Speech, gestures, pictures and AAC can all be valid ways to participate.
Encourage Mutual Understanding
Help other children recognise different ways of communicating emotions and needs, too.
Celebrate Meaningful Progress
Asking a friend to play, requesting help or expressing a personal boundary can all be important achievements.
Which Situations Can You Practise?
For example: choosing a game together, agreeing on rules, starting a conversation about a favourite topic, offering help, saying no to contact in a way the other person can understand, or resolving a misunderstanding.
If a child regularly experiences exclusion or ridicule, telling them to “join in more” is not enough. Adults need to intervene and address safety and the behaviour of the whole group.
Can Physical Activity Support Social Development?
Sport and movement-based games can provide natural opportunities to work together. Children agree on rules, observe other participants, learn to cooperate and practise solving practical problems.
Martial-arts-inspired activities may involve working in pairs, planning a task together, communicating signals and respecting boundaries. These experiences can be valuable when children feel safe and the level of challenge suits their abilities.
What Matters During a Class?
- Having the opportunity to watch an exercise before trying it.
- Making the rules and each participant's role clear.
- Adapting partner work to the child's preferences and boundaries.
- Responding to overload and allowing breaks.
- Supporting communication rather than judging the child solely by their behaviour.
- Avoiding pressure to make eye contact, accept touch or join every game.
A training session is not social skills therapy. It can, however, offer opportunities to practise cooperation, communication and positive experiences with peers.
How Do We Apply This Knowledge in Spectrum SKILLZ Classes?
At the Child Development Centre Młodzi Wojownicy in Warsaw's Ursynów district , we offer Spectrum SKILLZ for children aged 7–9 and young people aged 10–14. The programme combines elements of martial arts with tasks that address physical, cognitive, emotional and social development.
We work in smaller groups, using a clear class structure, gradual progression and communication tailored to participants' abilities. We do not expect every child to participate in exactly the same way.
“Which One?”
In the original activity, balls are marked with faces showing different emotions. The instructor presents them, and participants try to identify the emotion each face might represent.
The exercise can be extended with a short discussion: what clues can we see in the picture, what might have happened earlier, and why might two people interpret the same expression differently?
What Can Children Practise Through This Game?
- Noticing and describing different emotional cues.
- Communicating an interpretation through speech, gestures or pointing.
- Listening to other participants' ideas.
- Accepting that ambiguous situations may have more than one reasonable interpretation.
- Asking questions instead of assuming we know how someone else feels.
Depending on the child's needs, we can use fewer balls, provide additional prompts, allow more time to respond or invite the child to participate by pointing to pictures.
Important: recognising expressions in pictures does not mean understanding feelings in every real-life social situation. This is one opportunity for discussion and shared play, not a test of empathy.
Other activities can also provide opportunities to cooperate, communicate boundaries, ask for help and solve problems together.
We finish every class with stretching followed by a game — in keeping with the regular SKILLZ class structure.
Spectrum SKILLZ is a sports and developmental programme. It does not replace specialist therapy, speech and language support or psychological care when a child needs them.
Social Development in Autistic Children: Frequently Asked Questions
Does Every Autistic Child Want Friends?
Social needs differ. Some children enjoy many relationships, while others prefer one close friendship, occasional contact or activities on their own. Respecting each child's preferences and offering choices matters.
Does Avoiding Eye Contact Mean a Child Is Not Listening?
No. Eye contact is not a prerequisite for listening or showing interest. A child may process information more effectively while looking at an object, looking to the side or moving gently.
Can Playing with Peers Help Communication?
It can offer natural opportunities to express needs, cooperate and share interests. The activity should be accessible, safe and suited to everyone involved.
What If My Child Does Not Want to Join Group Activities?
Try to understand why: sensory overload, unclear rules, concerns about touch, previous negative experiences or simply a preference for a different activity. Watching first, joining gradually or choosing a different format may help.
Do You Offer Classes for Children with ADHD or Asperger's Syndrome in Ursynów?
Yes. At Młodzi Wojownicy in Ursynów, our sports and developmental classes can also welcome children with ADHD and those previously diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's syndrome is now included within the autism spectrum. ADHD alone does not automatically mean a child should join Spectrum SKILLZ: the most suitable group depends on their age and individual needs.
Is Spectrum SKILLZ Social Skills Training or Therapy?
No. It is a sports and developmental programme that also addresses social development. It does not replace specialist social skills training, therapy or recommendations tailored by qualified professionals.
Relationships Grow Through Mutual Understanding
An autistic child's social development can follow many paths. Some children need support with starting conversations, understanding unspoken rules or participating in groups. Others have strengths in these areas but prefer different ways of connecting.
Clear rules, respect for boundaries, choices, shared interests and a welcoming environment can all help. Supporting peers and adults in building better communication is just as important as supporting the child.
Thoughtfully designed physical activities may create opportunities for cooperation and relationships when they are safe and responsive to each child's needs.
Scientific and Professional Sources
This article draws on research into joint attention, conversational reciprocity, peer relationships and the effectiveness of programmes designed to support autistic children's social participation.
- Milton D.E.M. (2012). On the ontological status of autism: the ‘double empathy problem’. Disability & Society, 27(6), 883–887. Read the publication.
- Ragaglia B., Trovato I., Bulgarelli D. (2026). Peer-Mediated Social Skills Interventions in Primary School Settings for Autistic Children in the Light of the ICF Bio-psycho-social Model. A Systematic Review. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 56, 1074–1097. Read the publication.
- Afsharnejad B. et al. (2026). A Systematic Review of Implicit Versus Explicit Social Skills Group Programs in Different Settings for School-Aged Autistic Children and Adolescents. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 56, 1707–1724. Read the publication.
- NICE. Autism spectrum disorder in under 19s: support and management, guideline CG170. View the guidelines.
- American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA). Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorder – resources on social communication and mutual understanding. Professional resource.
- NICHD. Joint Attention Therapy for Autism – information about joint attention and its role in communication. Professional resource.
This article is for educational purposes and does not replace an individual diagnosis, assessment by a psychologist or speech and language therapist, or any prescribed therapy.
Spectrum SKILLZ – Movement, Cooperation and an Individual Approach
At Młodzi Wojownicy Child Development Centre, we apply knowledge about communication and social development through martial-arts-inspired activities adapted to each participant's abilities.
Our Spectrum SKILLZ programmes for children aged 7–9 and young people aged 10–14 are taught in smaller groups in Warsaw-Ursynów.
Before joining, we invite children to a one-off individual introductory session with a PRE-TEST. This helps us understand the child's needs and choose an appropriate approach.
